and so all yours

I had a really incredible experience today at church with one of my friends, Kathy. She has a stunning solitaire and then an inherited wedding band from her husband's grandmother...still found on the inside is the inscription of their wedding date almost 100 years ago. Another inscription, a newer inscription, is also found there, "and so all yours". When I asked Kathy about it, she told me of a line in William Shakespear's Merchant of Venice, I looked up the line after church, and found I loved it as much as she does. It explains how true love is, so I thought I would share it with you :) 


"So may you miss me.

But if you do, you’ll make me wish a sin,

That I had been forsworn. Beshrew your eyes,

They have o'erlooked me and divided me.

One half of me is yours, the other half yours—

Mine own, I would say. But if mine, then yours,

And so all yours."

i have been changed for good

So I just got home from NYC (final trip with the parentals before my mission) and it was so much fun. One of my favorite parts was seeing Wicked at the Gershwin- third row from the stage & dead center- and yes, it was absolutely incredible.

Here is the deal though, I cry...a lot. I inherited this trait from my mother. So we are sitting and watching this incredible play. It gets to the end where Elphaba & Glinda sing "For Good". 

I start sobbing- because as they sing, "I have been changed for good". I have been incredibly blessed by all of the people that have been placed into my life. My family, my friends, my ward family- they have truly made me into the person I am today. So, thank you- because I knew YOU I have been changed for good. 

missionary meltdown

I have had several meltdowns due to the lack of "Sister Missionary Modest" clothing here in Utah County (of all places)

These meltdowns have included, but are not limited to- crying, running, crying some more, eating ice cream, crying and then repeating.

I have been to every store from Salt Lake to St George.

I have finally compiled my 8 outfit wardrobe and can now look back at my mission shopping experience as "funny" but it is still a somewhat tender subject.

What really brought on this blog post was my conversation with cute Heather Wood. She came up to me at Church (she is also going on a mission and just awaiting her call!) two weeks ago and told me of one of HER meltdowns. Poor Heather, I feel your pain. So I thought I would blog about where I found the BEST things....

1. Sister Missionary Mall- okay most of their stuff looks like a dead great grandmother but I was able to find two skirts (stretchy great grandma material) that are solid colors, long and will do the job. Are they cute? Not so much, but they are functional.

2. Down East Outfitters- seeing as this was created to be a "modest" store I had higher hopes. I found ONE skirt that was long enough and went past my knee. It is cute :)

3. Banana Republic- this is my heaven. gorgeous sweaters and shirts. LOVE

4. Eddie Bauer- my mom went in there this last weekend when we went to the mall and I grudgingly went with her. She came out with nothing, I came out with three shirts :)

5. Target- they have the basics...like cute scarves, cheap jewlery, neosporin, tissues, pens, paper, etc.

6. Diane Mudrow- she is a LIFESAVER. She is making 3 of my 8 skirts. I almost cried when we went shopping and was able to get everything we needed to make three adorable skirts. This is the best option. If you can sew, your mom can sew, your aunt's best friend can sew, or if your wonderful neighbor can sew then choose this option!

I hope this helps any Sister going out into the field! :)

mark allen boyack

6-4-34

This is when my Grandpa was born. Those four little digits were an hourly repeat to each new doctor at the hospital, each radiation visit, and yesterday they were all I could think of. I was a little bit of an emotional wreck yesterday, so I postponed writing until today. I LOVE my Grandpa. He was the funniest thing. Whenever he was teasing or sneaking ice-cream behind Grandma's back his bright blue eyes would twinkle.

He loved baseball, I love baseball. He watched "Western Wednesday" on AMC, I watched "Western Wednesday". I was his constant companion and he was my best friend. We would cruise to the Greats- Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bing Cosby...and he would whistle along.

 He passed away in May of 2010 from cancer. I am so thankful that he is no longer in pain, but I miss him all the time- when I go to the Temple with my Grandma and he is not there, when we go to visit and baseball is never on, going down to St George alone.

I was reading Les Miserables by Victor Hugo (for the 5th time- this is my ALL time favorite book) and I noticed a quote I had highlighted many reads before,

"Be careful how you think of the dead. Dont think of what might have been. Look steadfastly and you will see the living glory of your beloved dead in the heights of heaven."

How beautiful and true that is. I am blessed to have the knowledge of the life hereafter and of my Savior who has paved the way for us to return to Him. I am so thankful for the opportunity to serve a mission on this side of the veil, and I know that the work done here will be doubled while my Granpa serves his mission on the other side of the veil. :)

Brooklyn

This is Brooklyn. When we were five we hated each other. We would fight, bite, hit, scratch each other until blood was drawn. Don't fret- we have grown up. She moved away to Maryland- I went to visit. She moved back and we became the best of friends. She recently was married to Mike Clement- he is a stud. He is absolutely perfect for her. I love them. This last Tuesday was a very special temple day for me. I was able to do a session with Brooklyn. She is being deployed on Saturday. I am worried. She is not. That is the major difference about us. Everything stresses me out- nothing can touch her. I am scared of dirt, bugs, spiders- she is not. She is my hero. I look up to her in so many things. I am so proud of her. She has been such an amazing influence for good, not only in my life- but in the lives of everyone she has met. I will miss her oodles, but I know that she is doing what she is supposed to do. I am so thankful for her, her husband Mike, my aunt Kelly and everyone else who is serving this country. Bless them. They sacrifice so much- so that I can keep my freedom. I am proud to be her cousin and proud to be American.

the vow to forgive

So my little sister and I rented "The Vow". It is a tragic, happy, sappy lovey-dovey romance. I loved it. BUT there was a line that really stuck out to me. 

The mom is talking to the main girl {Paige} about why she stayed with her husband when he cheated... she says,

"I chose to stay with him for all of the things he did right, rather than the one thing that he did wrong. I chose to forgive him."

Now I am not saying that if you are in a bad situation like her that you need to stay and be abused in any way- but I do think that she has a good point. Even if she did not stay with him- she CHOSE to forgive him. Forgiveness is a choice we make that ends up making us better people.

 Forgiveness is hard. Healing is hard. For anyone who has felt betrayed, lost, confused and in a very real sense heart-broken and hard-hearted. It does not have to be from a bad break-up, but it can be. It does not have to be from a messy home situation, but it can be. It does not have to be from feeling used and abused, but it can be. But I know that no matter how hard forgiveness can be- it is worth it. Whether you are forgiving yourself or forgiving someone else- forgiveness brings healing and recovery. It makes life go back to normal- or as normal as it can be.

you know you are OLD when...

High schoolers become "kids" and as they smile and hand you your groceries you become "ma'm"

You say things like "sick" thinking they are still "in" when you are told to stop trying to act like you are still a teenager by your 15 year-old sister

Your body can no longer handle staying up past nine- let alone doing a full week of all- nighters

Half of your pay check goes to FICA and the other half goes to insurance

You have things like car payments, phone bills, etc.

When you buy clothing not because it is cute- but because it is comfortable

You can do "big kid" things like buying dry ice and renting a rug doctor....

Friday nights consist of coming home from work and heading straight to bed


Yes, these all apply to me...and yes, I have finally come to accept- and even embrace the fact that I am "old" :)